What Would Satan Do by Anthony Miller

Author:Anthony Miller
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Brother Maynard Publishing
Published: 0100-12-31T22:00:00+00:00

Raju was doodling on the counter with a dry-erase marker as Lola, Liam, and Festus walked out of the back room.

“Raju,” said Liam, “I’m going out for a while. You’re in charge.”

“Okay,” mumbled Raju, apparently still hung over from whatever adventure had culminated with him being curled up in the desk chair.

“I may be a while. I don’t know. You might have to close up.”

“What? How long—?” Raju looked up, a tiny bit of alertness finally having crept in to his baked-out gourd. “Hey! Wait a second.” He stood.

Lola made the mistake of glancing in Raju’s direction, but only for an instant before gluing her eyes to Liam. Liam didn’t look as worried as one might expect the proprietor of a guitar shop to be upon finding his cash register being manned by a pants-less employee.

“Raju, where the hell are your pants?”

“I love her,” explained Raju.

“I don’t care,” said Liam. “Put your pants back on.”

Raju smiled at Lola. “Hey, baby.”

Lola took a couple of slow, sultry steps toward Raju and the cash register. Her lips parted ever so slightly and glistened. Her chest heaved. Liam’s jaw dropped, and his eyebrows tried to get out of the way of his enlarging eyes. She leaned over the counter, thrusting her chest forward, and reached up to caress Raju’s face. Raju’s eyes got giant, like he was trying to absorb every last photon in the entire shop. She slid her finger tips down his cheek, lingering for an instant, and then slapped the ever living shit out of him.

“Put your pants back on,” said Liam, and they left Raju alone in the store.

Outside the shop, Lola headed straight for a sedate-looking sedan with four sedate doors and painted a sedate shade of maroon. Liam and Festus did not, opting instead to stand and stare at what they regarded as one of the more shocking things they’d seen that morning. After a couple of seconds, Lola turned and saw a look of horror mixed with disgust mixed with disdain on Liam’s face. Festus looked afraid.

“What?” asked Lola. Liam made a face like he was having gastronomic difficulties and gestured in the direction of his own car. “Oh, it’s not that bad,” she said.

Liam opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came out, so he looked a little bit like a fish.

“Okay,” she said. “I guess we’re taking your car.”

“Shotgun!” said Festus.

A few minutes later, Festus sat in the back seat, alone and nursing a bruised ego.

Liam waved his hand in Festus’ general direction. “Tell her.” And Festus did. He told her about Whitford, and Cadmon’s army, and the poison gas. He told her about his repeated attempts to rebuff the Hawaiian guy’s romantic advances. He told her he was thinking about shaving his beard. She told him to shut up about the beard already.

“He didn’t give any details about the weapon?”

“No,” said Festus, “but he did mention the—the project you guys keep—”

“Baphomet?”

“Yes. That one.”

“What did he say about it?”

“Well…” Festus pursed his lips and scratched his beard.

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